Wedding Gifts for Second Marriages

secondmarriageWhen you have been married previously and you are planning your 2nd marriage, you are getting a second chance at happiness. This can be a very exciting time and depending on the wedding you are planning a very busy time too. Flowers, venue, theme, big, small, church or registry, 2nd marriage wedding dress – these are all things to think about.

But not that long ago, second marriage etiquette dictated that second weddings should not be elaborate, formal or extravagant but they shoule be smaller, quieter and more intimate. Today, however, more than 30 percent of today’s weddings are second marriages. The focus is on celebrating two people who have found each other, discovering love again and embarking on a new beginning.

I think often with second marriages who’s the most important in this –  now you might think you and your partner are, and if you don’t have any children then you’re right; but if you do then it really is important that they are on board with the whole new arrangement. This is a huge thing for them, all sorts of strange ideas will be going through their heads. Starting from “well that means my parents will never get back together” to, “is he/she replacing my dad/mum?”

It is sensible for each parent who is coming together in the marriage to discuss with their respective children what this will mean for them not for you. Children are very self-orientated, that is to say they believe from an early age that the world revolves around them alone and even when they are at an age when they have awareness it doesn’t, they still want it to. 

Often a change of location, loss of friendships and distance from the other parent can cause disruptive behaviour but if handled with care these can be made as small adjustments and less traumatic. Being able to be flexible and able to compromise, can go a long way in creating a harmonious new home. Moving from one home to another can be exciting as well as stressful but if you are moving children in as well that can cause a riot. Each family of children should go through an extensive period of getting to know each other and spending time at each other’s houses to ease with the transition. It may even be appropriate to sell both homes and buy a new one to start the family off as a new unit so there are no squabbles about bedroom ownership. Children who have never had to share in the past may now be expected to.

family3Many children will take the transition in its stride if presented well, having your ex as a supportive figure goes a long way to helping with this. It is acknowledged that not all marriage breakdowns are harmonious but if you can factor in the children, and put aside petty disagreements aside for their sake then you can be onto a winner.

Involving your children with the preparations for the day is a good idea, making them a focal point as your maid of honour or the best man can prove a positive note for them. But if they do not want to be part of the bridal party you need to respect that too. Always have a backup, or plan B.

Ok – so on with the wedding plans. Once the children have been told whose next, it is a good idea to let your ex know as a courtesy then parents and friends. The arrangements can then take on a life of their own. The whole feel of this special day is totally up to you if you did it big the first time round you may want it to be fairly informal and intimate. If it was small and quiet and a registry office you may fancy the whole shebang. Cost plays a big factor in the decision making especially if finances are a bit squeaky but then D.I.Y weddings are great fun if you have wonderful friends and families who want to help you celebrate your day on a more financial level that’s great. The ideas are limitless, for instance how about, don’t bring a present bring a dish of “whatever” to feed “however many” are coming plus whatever you want to drink. You may feel it’s a bit weird or awkward but then if these people you are inviting to share your wedding day with really are your friends/family they won’t care and will do it because they love you.  If they don’t whose loss is it?

If you are fortunate enough to be able to afford a big splash of a wedding, again your options are limitless. Stately homes often offer the most wonderful backdrop, with themed weddings being a big hit too. Getting married sky diving will certainly be memorable, the choice is entirely yours.

The great thing is you’ve done it all before so you know the pitfalls and where not to spend your hard earned cash. I recently attended a wonderful wedding, the setting was divine the weather held out and where the newlywed couple had given as a fancy at each place setting a sachet of wild flower seeds. The sad thing was that people left without taking them, this was obviously important to the newlywed couple and a gift from them to us. I took full advantage and picked up many of the ones left behind and scattered them liberally in my “wild area” at the bottom of my garden, where they now look fab.  

Wedding gifts for second marriages

coupleweddingWhen it is your second wedding most couples will have all the essential items so gifts can be difficult to find. Having a personalised wedding gift can make the gift that little bit special, here at Special Family Occasions we have a wide selection of gifts with an ever expanding range.

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